Samuel Dean Thomas

[Mostly Private, though readable by Seamus, Neville, Ron, Harry, Luna, Ginny and Hermione.]

Charms sucks. It just plain sucks. I will not ever get this homework right—and all the practice is making my wrist cramp and I can't bloody damn draw anything and I want to scream. I feel like I've been so busy and studying so much that I haven't done have the things I meant to this week. I can't think straight, can't focus. I feel like I haven't been drawing anything good this week or getting anything done and as much as yes, I did come back to finish my education, I also came back to be with my friends and here I am, doing homework, worrying about Charms when everyone else is worrying about dates for Valentine's. I am not jealous.

Is being overwhelmed part of being eighteen? Does everyone else feel this way?

[More private, only readable to Seamus] and why do I feel so incredibly lonely when I'm surrounded by people who love me? And why do I feel crowded even while feeling lonely? Why can't I fall straight to sleep at night and why can't I seem to get my head straight and focus on something less dramatic, like finding a date, and not nightmares about Ted and woods and being alone?

How can anyone feel overdrowded and alone at the same time? No, I don't want to be standing in the middle of the Great Hall sometimes and all the noise sounds like oceans waves and thunder, but I don't want to be by myself either. Why isn't there an inbetween? Doesn't help that Charms is so overly crowded. It feels like a swarm in there.

I'm not making sense.[End all privates.]

I can't draw for crap this week. Nothing's working and everytime I try to draw anything, I end up tapping my pencil on the page and thinking about Charms and T-Fig instead. It takes all the fun out of thinking about all the chocolate on Valentine's Day.

If I didn't love you, I might have to kill you.

Mostly for a) for getting caught and b) for not inviting me.

[for luna]

I think the weather is looking up... not by much, but I think today was a little less blistery than yesterday. I'd love to spout poetic about something more important than doodles of squids and weather, but I find that sometimes there isn't a need for words... and if there is, there are people more eloquent than me for the job. I know it's hard to imagine, but this too shall pass, yeah?

Gam zeh ya'avor

That's the original phrase from the Jewish text.

It was a story of King Solomon. He asked one of his minister's to complete an impossible task in hopes of teaching said Minister a lesson on humility. The task was to find a magical ring that would make a happy wearer sad and a sad wearer happy. The minister had six months to complete his task. He used the six months to their fullest. On the night before his deadline was up, the minister walked through the city and stopped at a small jewelers and asked, by chance, did the ringmaker have such a magical ring? The ringmaker tooka simple gold ring and carved upon it "Gam zeh ya'avor." When Solomon gazed upon the ring, happy and in good humor, thinking the minister had surely failed, his face immediately fell and he realized, upon reading the words, that his current good health and wealth were only fleeting. His power was only fleeeting.

So, good or bad, it's only here for a while. Cling to the good while you can and wait out the bad until it leaves. It will be over sooner than you realize, yeah? And none of use want to spend the rest of our lives regretting anything.

This is what I missed about Hogwarts. There is ample space to sketch and you aren't surrounded but hundreds of people like in the parks in the city. Though, I'll be damned if the squid will stay above water long enough for me to sketch him. Do you think he's shy maybe?

On that note, I did not miss the snoring in Gryffindor tower. Not naming names, Ron.

Hey, who stole the food on the end of my trunk? It took great care to knick persuade the house elves to let me have that. Gits. You all better keep a better eye on your sugar quills.

It's too easy, settling back in like this.

Man, I could go for a butterbeer right now.

Warded to Seamus: Or a Firewhisky. Hook a mate up, yeah? Close Ward

sobreviviendo
sin sangre en mi cuerpo
era amor de suenos
( somos los terribles )